Gourmet Rebel T-Shirts

"Well, I don't care if it is some kind of fancy-schmancy restaurant...if I want ketchup, I'm gonna get ketchup!"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

Thou Shalt Not!

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Lockdown casserole

Garlic Free Zone.

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"We'll start with the dessert menu."

"Valet park only"

Chocs away.

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Gigot de sept heures."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"I'm unable to process this image."

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

Recipes.

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"