Gourmet Guerrilla Gifts

Fermeture des restaurants: la résistance s'organise

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

French wine

The Main Types of Cheese

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Too much cilantro

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

To do before Saturday...

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"