Gourmet Guerrilla Gifts

Fermeture des restaurants: la résistance s'organise

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

Too much cilantro

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

The Main Types of Cheese

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

French wine

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

To do before Saturday...

'I think I'll go home and eat'