Gourmet Golfer Gifts

"I take it you didn't like my meatballs."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

Too much cilantro

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

French wine

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

To do before Saturday...

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

The Main Types of Cheese

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'