Gourmet Gold Lovers Gifts

Karat Stew - 'I think it needs more bullion.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"You're the lid to my pot."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Is the MSG local?"

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'This is our golden anniversary. Let's invest in gold.'

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

Cheese Pile

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Join me for dinner?

Thermidor Dali

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

Haute Chinese

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"You see, I don't believe in eating fast. I believe in savoring. I....hey, stop looking at my food!"