Gourmet Gold Lovers Pillows

Karat Stew - 'I think it needs more bullion.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"You're the lid to my pot."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Is the MSG local?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

'This is our golden anniversary. Let's invest in gold.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

Haute Chinese

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Thermidor Dali

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

Join me for dinner?

Cheese Pile

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

Cut out and keep your own Chef