Gourmet Gawker Gifts

Sandwiches - We use 100% natural cardboard for bread.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

La Table

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

French wine

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I come here for the pepper."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

Cheese

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