Gourmet Scavenger Gifts

Culture Vultures

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"You're the lid to my pot."

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

I wish I'd had the review.

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

Holiday Supplies

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."