Gourmet Gamer Pillows

Guac - a - Mole. Whac - a - Mole.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I come here for the pepper."

To do before Saturday...

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

The Main Types of Cheese

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Too much cilantro

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Is this still America?'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

Cheese

Holiday Supplies

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"