Gourmet Food Buyer T-Shirts

"What's upscale today, Joey?"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"You're the lid to my pot."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

French wine

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

The Main Types of Cheese

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Is the MSG local?"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

To do before Saturday...

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

His Her Cakes

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Too much cilantro

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."