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Cheese

"You're the lid to my pot."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Important Food Groups

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

Join me for dinner?

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Haute Chinese

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"You see, I don't believe in eating fast. I believe in savoring. I....hey, stop looking at my food!"

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

'Pass the grey stuff.'

Cut out and keep your own Chef

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

'Jingling your change won't get us a better table.'

A restaurant with a "Main Dining Room" and a "Room for Dessert".

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."