Gourmet Dining Fans T-Shirts

"Polly wants a Château Cheval Blanc."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

La Table

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"I come here for the pepper."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Before/After

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

'S'more wine?'

A traveler comments on the red in the sunset. A wine drinker misunderstands, thinking the traveler is referring to the red wine.

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"Is the garbage fresh?"

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

Nouveau wine

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'