Gourmet Dining Fans Pillows

"Polly wants a Château Cheval Blanc."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

La Table

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"I come here for the pepper."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Before/After

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

'S'more wine?'

A traveler comments on the red in the sunset. A wine drinker misunderstands, thinking the traveler is referring to the red wine.

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"Is the garbage fresh?"

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

Nouveau wine

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

"As you can see, my culinary creations are eclectic."