Gourmet Coffee Jokester Gifts

"I'm inviting you all to taste test a new, cheaper blend of coffee."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

'You've had enough!'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

Onion operation.

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

Men dancing

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

'I wish you'd make those meatballs a little lighter; they hurt!'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

The mushroom pickers

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'