Gourmet Beaver Enthusiast Gifts

"It has a nuttiness with hints of oak, maple, cedar and mahogany."

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Beaver tower

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

Haute Chinese

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

"You've got to be kidding me." Hoover Dam

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Join me for dinner?

'Ugh, we've got termites, destructive little pests.'

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

Hmm, now that I see it, I think I like the dam back where you put it before.

Cut out and keep your own Chef

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

"You see, I don't believe in eating fast. I believe in savoring. I....hey, stop looking at my food!"

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'Pass the grey stuff.'