Gothic Humorists Gifts

Chances of making it back to the castle by daybreak suddenly seemed slim.

"Here we are."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Frankenstein working at a hot dog stand.

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

"....and hold the garlic."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

The African Plains during the 70's.

Arresting Adam and Eve

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

"Wait! First, his attorney."

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

"They don't make formula the way they used to."

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

Fresh Blood In Politics

'Which one do you think Dracula's in?'

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

"So, Claire tells me you ate her parents last night."

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

"And now for the 'piece de resistance!'"

Death Takes A Time-Share

'This feels a bit strange: Are you really from the Blood Bank?'

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

"Ugh! Damn floss..."

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

"Dang it! Honey, this whole batch of type B positive has gone sour!"

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

Vampire Humor

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."