Gothic Humor Gifts

I can recommend a toothpaste to get rid of stains, but I don't know about blood stains.

"Here we are."

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Frankenstein working at a hot dog stand.

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

Date Night

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

Vampire collects bottles of blood from his doorstep.

"....and hold the garlic."

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"It's people like you who are ruining rock and roll for the rest of us."

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

Vincent Van Goth.

Transylvanian Snails.

"Wait! First, his attorney."

'He's always been a bit of an eccentric...'

"I figured I've got the money so why not spend it."

'This feels a bit strange: Are you really from the Blood Bank?'

'Which one do you think Dracula's in?'

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

"So, Claire tells me you ate her parents last night."

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

Death Takes A Time-Share

Till life do you part.

Fresh Blood In Politics

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

"Ugh! Damn floss..."