Got A New Pet Pillows

How ironic. Since you had me neutered, you're my best friend

"It makes me want to pee."

"I will never forgive my owners for calling me fifi."

"You've got athletes foot."

Bitchbark Canoe

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Pick me!"

"Foster failure"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"Cat box"

'That was fun!'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

Cat Nip.

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Dog Dreams

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

'She's just great with the children.'

"That’s great, but where’s the Frisbee?!"

A man and his dog