Gossip Detective Pillows

'Ok, let me get this straight; your friend Kristyn is no longer coming to have supper with us because Danielle told you that Tracy heard from Holly that her sister Melissa thought she saw Kristyn in the mall talking to your old boyfriend?'

"I never believe office gossip unless it's backed by some substantial rumors."

'Straight from the horse's mouth? I don't think so: This article has been heavily edited...'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'She's so put together!'

A little bird told me...

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

JET (Part I)

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

"George is fluent in two languages. English and total nonsense."

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

"He's only an associate but he's already reaping at a partner's level."

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

18 Days Since the Last Embarrassing Off-Field Incident.

"With Harry all options are on the table, including pointlessly looking for a job that doesn't exist for him anymore."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'Washington has wooden teeth? -- how did you find that out?', 'It came out in conversation.'

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"Reverend John Ship performed the nuptials. Attorney Thomas Sims performed the prenuptials."

Stable boys and Scottsman

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."