Gorilla Guardians T-Shirts

'Now Dad, don't you start your chest-thumping! I'm going out and that's it!'

The Jeopardy of Progress

City Zoo: Day Care

"He likes it."

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

Taking goldfish for a walk.

Robert Drake

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

Bleak House

'Do you make fish cakes? It's his birthday!'

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

Forest Management

Save the tree.

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

'Now that's just low-down mean.'

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

"It's your turn, kid."

"If the stock market goes to infinity, would we be able to pay off the national debt?"

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

"I'd never have imagined such innovative ways of wearing this cape!"

"Apologies, sir. The mansion is haunted by Randy, the master's late spaniel."

"Mikey and Bubbles: Gorilla songwriters"

'Why wait for evolution? Get your intelligence now.'

'With school, sports and music lessons, I don't get to spend much quality time with my gerbil.'

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'Isn't it great Darling: The kids are now old enough to have dinner ready when we get home...'

Frogs jump out of boiling water, but linger in gradually heated water.

'You couldn't just lock him up somewhere, could you?'

Sometimes I worry about you, Axel. Teenagers are a big source of anxiety for their guardians. You don