Ghostly Guardians T-Shirts

"Apologies, sir. The mansion is haunted by Randy, the master's late spaniel."

The Jeopardy of Progress

"He likes it."

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

The Bearskin Hat Family

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

"It's trickle down."

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

Save our Planet.

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

Bleak House

'... I couldn't remember if I had switched off the light!'

Forest Management

"I've been feeling more transparent."

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

Deer Crossing.

'My mom won't let me play 'Merchants of Mayhem.' I tried, but she's a game changer.'

Save the tree.

"It's your turn, kid."

"If the stock market goes to infinity, would we be able to pay off the national debt?"

"I'd never have imagined such innovative ways of wearing this cape!"

'Well, don't look at me!'

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

'Isn't it great Darling: The kids are now old enough to have dinner ready when we get home...'

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

'I've located the source of all that annoying spam we've been receiving...preparing to destroy.'

'You couldn't just lock him up somewhere, could you?'

Frogs jump out of boiling water, but linger in gradually heated water.

"And coach says to hurry it up because we're delaying '60 Minutes.'"