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"Apologies, sir. The mansion is haunted by Randy, the master's late spaniel."

The Jeopardy of Progress

"He likes it."

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

"It's trickle down."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

The Bearskin Hat Family

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

Save our Planet.

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

'... I couldn't remember if I had switched off the light!'

Bleak House

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

Forest Management

'My mom won't let me play 'Merchants of Mayhem.' I tried, but she's a game changer.'

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

Save the tree.

Deer Crossing.

"I've been feeling more transparent."

Getting to Know You

"It's your turn, kid."

"If the stock market goes to infinity, would we be able to pay off the national debt?"

'Well, don't look at me!'

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

"I'd never have imagined such innovative ways of wearing this cape!"

'Isn't it great Darling: The kids are now old enough to have dinner ready when we get home...'

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

'You couldn't just lock him up somewhere, could you?'

'I've located the source of all that annoying spam we've been receiving...preparing to destroy.'

Frogs jump out of boiling water, but linger in gradually heated water.

Sometimes I worry about you, Axel. Teenagers are a big source of anxiety for their guardians. You don