Gore Gourmand Gifts

"That's one t-bone steak for you sir, and a bowl of blood and guts for your zombie friend."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

Just one more choccy...

A London gent abroad

"It's fondue night!"

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

Dijon Vu

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

Capturing a Cook

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

The four basic food groups: Dry, Moist, Biscuit, Bone.

"Cemetery Pie"

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

"I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my worldview."

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'