Good Vs Evil Pillows

Just as Dirk was about to escape on horseback, the magician's final spell turned his swift black steed into the legendary Bureaucratic Night Mare.

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"Oceans are rising, landmass is shrinking - so far so good."

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"It's the kind of missile system that says, 'Hey, these peace negotiations aren't really going very well.'"

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

"The enemy will never be able to spot our troops in the new camouflage scheme General."

"Pinpoint havoc, gentlemen, accuracy of mayhem. And yet our dress blues remain crisp and sharp, our hands soft and pink."

'This conspiracy theory nonsense MUST end. Any suggestions?'

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

Oooops!

Fridge Magnets/Military Medals

'How come I always get the shoulder with the parrot?'

"This one is for not complaining about stretched too thin handling domestic and foreign crises."

Top Secret - Destroy before reading.

Plain English group.

The Generals medals

The Use of Cavalry

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

"I mind my mother, eat my broccoli and do my homework, but you won't tell the guys, will you?"

"Don't make the same mistake as Saddam Hussein, Ellen."

"At ease!"

'Hey, Dad! How about a round of computer golf?'

American's Funniest Invasion Strategies.