Golfer Chuckles Pillows

'Lunge out of the water and slap his face!? ... Oh, that's real effective, Leonard.'

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

"Remember when we were young and could finish a round without one of us having to run off to mark his territory?"

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Putt-putt. Drive-Drive. (Two minature golf courses. Golfer at first hits putt. Golfer at second is hit in head by golfball that has been hit as a drive.)

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

Hole in forty-seven.

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

Golf Score Reducer

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

Golf Hil Divot

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball.'

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

Tiger Woods, on his way to his 1st golf tournament.

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

'Have you got a sand wedge?'

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

'I remember Rod when he used to strike footballs into the crowd!'

Poor Walt - they don't make em like him anymore.

Meditating on a 4th for golf!

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

For a $50 payoff, Dwayne would agree not to follow a foursome around all 18 holes.

"... And how much am I bid for this set of, John McEnroe's golf clubs?"

Mulligan's first mulligan.

'Tell me the truth,Rodney - you've moved the hole haven't you!'