Golf Philosopher Pillows

"If you're so enlightened, how come you can't lick that slice?"

'If it's still rolling, Ron, it's not lost.'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

"You have a good lie."

"Good game."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

reincarnated worm...

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

Winter Weather.

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Two Men Angler's In A Storm.

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

"Before we start, does anyone fancy a bet on the outcome?"

Solitaire card shark.

"My husband is fishing. . ."

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

"Sure, Pop, I see the ball—what I don't see are incentives."

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

"I don't know why they don't privatise the tax office and blame the private sector for its existence."

"We're studying Walden Pond today."

Coulda Woulda Shoulda.

'Now, Perkins, hit my ball straight down the fairway for about 300 yards.'

Cheating Death

'My ball would be on the green if you hadn't been in the way!'

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

'Have you ever heard the parable of the lawn left unmowed?'

'Violence solves everything...'