Golf Course Grazer Gifts

'Whatever you do, don't tell the rest of the herd about this secret grazing place we found.'

The Golfing Accident

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

Figure 1. NASA Mars Rovers: A Family Tree

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

'Oof.'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

In case he wore pants that weren't gaudy enough for golf, Len kept some cans of spray paint in his bag.

Dexter Miller developed the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough, but... (golf ball in pain)

"He had help. There were architecture specialists, costume specialists, angel specialists..."

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

'You can see the artist has tried to capture man's aspirations, using a minimalist language.'

"No, thank you. I'd prefer seeing a menu from the restaurant across the street."

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'

'Robert likes to watch the mechanic as he works.'

"Let's not spoil it by keeping score."

"Let's see...how would Arnie handle this?"

'I don't 'do' chewing!'

Things get heated at the outing.

"I lost count back there after your fifth stroke. How many did it take?"

"Well how about that, I'm vegetarian too..."

In The Olive Garden, we harvest bread sticks year round.

There's no reason to feel guilty - You're not the only vegetarian to get swine flu.

'My human puts two scoops of chaff, one scoop of nuts, 1/4 scoop of feed balancer, a scoop of garlic, herbs, salt, mood calmer, electrolytes and more into my feed every day. But you just can't beat this stuff!'

Let's not make this personal!

"I'm greener, yes. But am I happier?"

"The king of divots, every game is played like the last."

Man Looking At Painting

'Wouldn't you know it? -- I sliced it right into Purgatory!'

"Ignore him, Geoff, they just can't help themselves!"

"His grass really is greener!"

Sorry, but I have needs!

"Don't even look at the grass!"