Golf And Ski Mythmaker Pillows

Golfer on Ski Lift.

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'If he starts early enough, he could be the next Rory Mcilroy.'

"You have a good lie."

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

Sales chart shows sales going downhill.

'It's been so long since he's been on dry land.'

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

Golf Crime Scene.

"I hate golf. There's something unnatural about a game where the lowest score wins."

'I'll be with you in a minute.'

'Do you mind if I play through?'

"Hey! If you're gonna use the ladies tee that skirt goes below the knees. And lose the tank top, mister."

Golf Ball in Nest.

Porters carry a sedan chair up a ski slope

'Give a man a ball, and he golfs for a day, Teach a man to scoop a ball and he golfs for a lifetime,'

'Whatever you do, don't tell the rest of the herd about this secret grazing place we found.'

'You forgot one of the essential facts of putting - the ball always breaks toward the water.'

Agricultural Skier

"In a blinding flash, Norman suddenly realises the mind-numbing boredom and utter futility of the sport that is called golf..."

The Educated Golfer or The Instinctive Golfer

Golfing Fakir.

'I shouldn't be much longer, hon, I'm putting on the 18th green right now.'

"I think the 'curse of the Bambino' has transferred to your Portfolio."

STRIP Old Caddy (colour)

'Shall we forget the ball and start to look for the golf course?'

Practical Yolkers.

"That's a lovely tee-shot." - "Well, thank you, it matches my underpants."

'Every Sunday I thank God that I'm an atheist!'

The world's first caddy.

'Mr. Murdoch... skiing isn't for everyone.'

'I like to think of myself as Tiger Woods' greatest nightmare - although I'd don't know why he'd ever dream about me.'

"When I moved out here I promised myself I'd play golf every day, but I haven't been out ONCE!"