Goldsmith Gifts

Man Buys Engagement Ring And Wants It Inscribed.

Startling effect of the 'gold diggins.' - reduced goldsmith selling gold tins very cheaply

Gold by the inch, spaghetti by the yard.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Campaign for Plain English

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Torturing the English Language

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Meet The Author"

"She's been so creative lately."

"Do me next."

Edgar Allen Poe

First Novels.

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Cut Price

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Backfire

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

What's normal?

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'