Goldfish Gazer Gifts

'Next!'

'Don't you find watching people relaxing?'

"When's the TV due back from the workshop?"

"I dare say you have seen more interesting wildlife programmes. For the last hour you've been watching the gold-fish tank."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

'So what have you been up to?'

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

"I think we are overfeeding the fish!"

"This place could use a moat!"

Taking goldfish for a walk.

'Do you make fish cakes? It's his birthday!'

"This isn't what I had in mind, when you said you were going to buy me some waterfront property."

Fishbowl Rebellion

'My ultimate ambition is a large pond.'

"Here he comes! Don't move."

Hope and pray it's nothing more than a 'Spectator Sport'!'

"Take the goldfish. If it's still alive in six months, call us for another interview."

'Well, I think it's dreadful coming home and taking it out on poor Freddy like that.'

"I don't know how to tell you this, Honey, so I'm going to come right out and say it. ... Your goldfish ran away."

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

'Where's your goldfish?'

World of Cow - Goldfish aren't the only ones to grow into their environments.

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

"Wait a minute! It's not good to go swimming right after eating!"

'I tell you they switched us when they changed the water. That's my husband over there.'

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose."

'Turbidity is pretty high today, better keep the kids inside...'

'Do you mind if I have a friend spend the night?'