Goldfish Fanatics T-Shirts

"Yep, that's water retention."

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"He was a sea rescue."

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'Next!'

Fishing Boat Derby

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

'So what have you been up to?'

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

Tartar sauce.

"I think we are overfeeding the fish!"

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

Taking goldfish for a walk.

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'

One of a kind.

'Do you make fish cakes? It's his birthday!'

"So that's why they are called Perch!"

"Trepanning for gold"

Fish school toilet protocol.

Cod Psychologists.

'Relax... When I said, your husband's swimming with the fishes. I merely meant that he's gone SCUBA diving with the boss.'

"It's been over for a while now. I caught him trying to fertilize some catfish eggs in June."

'Is this what you're looking for, dear?'

"You should have seen how excited I made a couple of oceanographers today."

'I think I'll let Goldie do a few lengths in the bath before I get in.'

'My goldfish died. I over-watered him.'

'My ultimate ambition is a large pond.'

"I don't know how to tell you this, Honey, so I'm going to come right out and say it. ... Your goldfish ran away."

"Take the goldfish. If it's still alive in six months, call us for another interview."

"Where do you see yourself in five years."

'Need anything today?'