Goldfish Appreciator T-Shirts

Tricks with a goldfish

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

"She's just being Koi."

Fish evolving: 'Write, if you establish a niche.'

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

'Next!'

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

"Take the goldfish. If it's still alive in six months, call us for another interview."

The truth about Vincent Van Gogh's ear...the fish were really biting, & he ran out of bait!'

'I love all of your brothers and sisters, but you're my favorite.'

"Put the oven on dear, I've picked us up a lovely leg of salmon."

'Where's your goldfish?'

"Can you keep a secret?"

'I tell you they switched us when they changed the water. That's my husband over there.'

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose."

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

"You just had to swipe at that fish."

George realized that eating up the neighbourhood had caused a certain extent of loneliness.

'Don't you find watching people relaxing?'

World of Cow - Goldfish aren't the only ones to grow into their environments.

'Turbidity is pretty high today, better keep the kids inside...'

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

'Water is included with rent.'

"If you're thinking of evolving, don't bother."

'Of course there's a Richard Dawkins! Who do you thin changes the water?'

I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Axel, but one of your goldfish has died. That's terrible

Goldfish training...

"When I die I want a closed casket funeral. . . Correct."

'I'm just feeding the goldfish.'

Lockdown: Where every day is just like the last."

'Is that exotic, or just weird?'