Goldfish Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'Wow, look! Uncle Harry is in the paper!'

Horror movies

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

Cat eats date.

'Next!'

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

'So what have you been up to?'

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

'They speak fish!'

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

"I think we are overfeeding the fish!"

"After 1000 miles of rapids, waterfalls,and grizzly bears I'm pooped. Let's just grab some supper and call it a night."

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'

Sooners! Opening day of fishing.

'Jimmie,it's not nice to call someone a bigmouth.'

"I told you to stop biting your nails."

'Sometimes when I'm stressed out, I just float here and watch them walk around.'

Football Fish

"I don't know how to tell you this, Honey, so I'm going to come right out and say it. ... Your goldfish ran away."

Evolved to Ski.

"Take the goldfish. If it's still alive in six months, call us for another interview."

"I guess we'd be considered a family. We're living together, we love each other, and we haven't eaten the children yet."

All those years of marriage and they still get emotional on Valentines Day.

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

'Where's your goldfish?'

George realized that eating up the neighbourhood had caused a certain extent of loneliness.

Bathing suit.

'I tell you they switched us when they changed the water. That's my husband over there.'

"Let's go to my place, Goldie. My parents won't spy on us."

"Wait a minute! It's not good to go swimming right after eating!"

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose."

'Turbidity is pretty high today, better keep the kids inside...'