Going Steady T-Shirts

'I didn't know our relationship was SUPPOSED to be going anywhere.'

"Jeanine, there's no one I'd rather binge-watch TV with in a desperate attempt to escape a world I find terrifying and perplexing than you."

Speed Dating for Turtles

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'Let's go! Let's go! Hustle! ...Relatively speaking.'

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

'You should have seen me sooner, Mr. Fenswick.'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

U. S. MAIL, 'Daddy's home!'

"Wel...come...to...my...zoom...meet...ing..."

No Caption. (A snail is shown towing snail shells on a trailer in the manner of a semi truck towing cars to an auto dealer.)

Speed Checked By Radar.

Horse Muzzles

Investments: Check out our webinar: 'The tax advantages of delayed gratification.'

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

"...The sun sank slowly in the west. Time slowed down to a crawl, and there was no reason to hurry. The tortoise knew he had time to kill. Haste makes waste, he thought..."

A tortoise

'Believe it or not General, the Army is already charging...'

'Gee, Doctor Dresher, you have a wonderful way with horses....

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

Sign outside tortoise shell: 'Out to lunch'.

'The brood mares are coming this way! If they ask you if they look fat the answer is no!'

Tortoise Mailman.

"Mr. Green and I should be there in about 2 hours!"

Ponies for Sale

Tortoise: I've been fired from the Marching Band: I couldn't keep up...

"It's those creative types you ought to be checking on."

'I love my job, but the commute is killing me.'

I may not be the smartest tortoise, but I've been around the block a few times. Well, once.

"Well yes, we've been married for eighty years, but your grandma didn't want to rush things: We were engaged for thirty years before that..."

'Sorry, I don't brake for small animals.'

"Our blind dates have spotted us, but it's going to be a while before we reach them: try to stay nonchalant all the way though..."