Godly Grandeur Gifts

Juno

Father

The Bearskin Hat Family

Parachuting bishop.

Sculptor's chippings

"Why be a princess...when I can be a queen?"

"Betcha can't hit the same spot twice in a row."

'Wow, 600 lbs of dark chocolate signals that you won't mind my inevitable obesity.'

'You wouldn't listen to me. You have to buy the biggest tree in the lot!'

Atlas holds up a football.

'Hi, my name is Daniel.' 'And I am Thor,' thinks his penis.

God Cooks Up Evolution

The Master chef had produced his masterpiece... a monster Danish pastry!

Lisa, will you marry me... and if so promise not to go nuts planning the wedding.

"My name is Bacchus, Roman God of Wine ... and I'm an alcoholic."

'Sure, you'd climb the highest mountain and swim the deepest sea, but would you take a bullet for me?'

One-Up-Manship Valentine's Day

Vulcan

'What do you mean. . . in a perfect heaven?'

'Eve is a nice addition, except you inadvertently created a lot of sexual tension.'

"Hi, I'm Zeus, the man behind the myth."

He hasn't been the same since someone stole his thunder.

And on the Eighth Day God Just Puttered Around the House

"You da man!"

'On this stage tonight, The First Lady, The Princess, The Empress, The Maharani and The Mother Superior of country music!'

'I was a good dog, but I never took the time to make myself a great dog.'

"He does the whole lightning-bolt-thing on line now."

"Refresh my memory - Was I born great, or did they thrust greatness upon me?"

Australia's Short-Lived God

"I'm afraid this must all seem terribly insignificant next to me."