Goalie Gourmand T-Shirts

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

Just one more choccy...

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

Dijon Vu

'What goes with leftovers?' 'I have a bottle of dregs here someplace.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

"Cemetery Pie"

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

God Cooks Up Evolution

Capturing a Cook

"That's one t-bone steak for you sir, and a bowl of blood and guts for your zombie friend."

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

"Mind if we play through?"

Coffee, toast and some of my special homemade turkey marmalade!

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

He didn't even remember signing up for the taste test.