Goalie Gourmand T-Shirts

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

Just one more choccy...

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

'What goes with leftovers?' 'I have a bottle of dregs here someplace.'

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

Dijon Vu

"He was going to buy. Why'd you tell him it was made with real gingerbread?"

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

God Cooks Up Evolution

Capturing a Cook

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

"Cemetery Pie"

Coffee, toast and some of my special homemade turkey marmalade!

"That's one t-bone steak for you sir, and a bowl of blood and guts for your zombie friend."

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

"Mind if we play through?"

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

Ned Thompson, unpretentious wine taster.