Goal Celebration Diva Gifts

Singer

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Teamwork

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

Westview High School Soccer League Victory Dinner

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

Brava

"Write your acceptance speech before winning the award."

"We hired him for his soft paws - I mean soft skills."

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

'They only keep him in the team because of his famous WAG!'

'I see from your resume, that on your last job you were salesperson of the month. Says here that you were given a plague. Do you feel better now?'

"I'm in the national team...not because I'm a good player, but because everybody panics when I start singing the anthem!"

"You shirt, you fool, your shirt!"

The man who finally got his account in the black

'If you think men don't know how to show emotion - just wait until one of them scores...'

"What would you charge to poor champagne over my head?"

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

Big Cheese

'Look - if you're not going to watch the match, you might as well have stayed at home and gawped at yourself in the mirror!'

'What's the big deal - scoring is what you're paid squillions to do?'

Goal!

'We did it! We each had a good day on the same day!'

Euros 2016

"Want to know how many steps we took?"

I know we just lost! We're throwing him off the top of the stadium!

Pelé

"No mention of her serve."

Sergio Ramos

"I know, it's hideous! But I did a hell of a lot of sky punching during the World Cup and now I'm stuck with it."

'The first ears you made were insufficiently pink and fuzzy, so their destruction in the bathtub was actually for the best!'

'Great news, I've just swum the channel...lenthwise.'

Man on top of a mountain is outdone by man on a ladder.