Gluttony Satire Fan Pillows

During the frost a certain fox-hunter increases in weight and gets too big for his clothes.

"You know, there are other emojis."

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

'I believe in the free enterprise system. I haven't paid for anything in the past 27 years...'

Missing Daylight: So dark. So cold.

Shakspeare a little altered. - 'He lived not wisely, but too well.'

Alarming symptoms after eating boiled beef and gooseberry pie

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

Ms. Bronte has a bad Eyre day.

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

'He was too chatty. I don't like small talk. Too much gibber, not enough jabber.'

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

Woman on a Pedestal. . . Who Married the Mothers Boy.

"I don’t remember there being a tip jar the last time we were here."

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

"Worm puree? No, it seems the old lady was sh*tfaced again last night!"

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

Unbroken Eye Contact: The Musical

'Uh oh. Cougar alert.'

Bear in hotdog eating contest.

"A touch more obsequious and you'll reach the tipping point."

How come nothing good ever happens to me? Like what? Like getting taken by a foreign government then rescued. I want to get a book contract, to be part of the news cycle, to have him talk about me. Whom? Speak my name, Anderson Cooper! The great one.

I'm used to seeing crocodile tears when I tell off a man in this bar, but this is the first time I've seen crocodile exclamation points. ! !

'Better call me Sir in the office dear - I don't want the staff to know that I send my wife out to work...'

Wintertime Barometer.

'I've always been a great fan of yours. I wrote all your books!'

"Aside from the foot, do you think my parking's getting better?"