Gluttonous Gigglers Pillows

"Like you, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I need to monitor my food intake otherwise I could be too heavy to fly..."

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Moo! OOM!

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"There's a caterpillar in my food."

'Oh yeah? Well I'm not crazy about your humming, either!'

'Would that be rare, or medium rare?'

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

'It's my first attempt at gardening but so far I've learned...'

Alarming symptoms after eating boiled beef and gooseberry pie

'Someplace where we just eat, eat, eat!'

"What would you serve with toast?"

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

'Henri! We found your sweatband!'

"Hey Frank, how was your colonoscopy?" "In and out."

'If we had any guts we'd get out of here!'

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

Vegetarian restaurant: 'Two vegetarians please.'

"Honest Dad, I was going to mow the lawn... But I can't find the lawnmower in here!"

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'