Gastronomic Gigglers Pillows

"It's our version of the doggy bag. Permit me to take it to madam's car."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

"I might just get a pie."

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

Moo! OOM!

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'House wine?'

"Fresh ground anti-depressants?"

"I think it's important to have a hobby outside of work...mine is eating chocolate."