Glorious Twelfth Pillows

The infamous Twelfth: Feathered lives matter

Bubbly

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

Sermon Applause.

"Trick or treat?"

Just your average family holiday portrait.

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

"His prose, however, is very elegant."

'Tell me, Sadie -just how many times is it now that we have been gathered here today?'

'Moron.'

'As a patient I'm glad because the doctor cured me. As a lawyer I'm sad because there's no reason to sue that guy.'

'Just as I thought...made in Alaska!'

'I'm facing unemployment! The world is running out of nice kids!'

Velocirappers

'It must of crept on over christmas...'

"He's very busy. One 'Good King Wenceslas', and then about you go."

"How am I supposed to guide the sleigh with this mask on?"

Man Wins Second Prize in a Knobbly-Knees Competition.

"He's hoping his nose can be used in a cake!"

'Nurse! The chart says comatose, not comb his toes!'

Moses at the urinal

On the twelth day of Christmas...

Twelve

'The second opinion I got advised me to sue you for malpractice.'

Sponsored grump, donate now: 'This isn't much of a challenge for you really, is it?'

Angler Zips Up Dress

"I like to look my best if someone is taking pictures"

On the second day of Christmas...

55th Birthday

'I look but all I can find is seasonal work.'

Santa Claus huddles round a fire made from reindeer antlers

Twelve

"I don't know what happened. I usually carry enough money around to make myself feel superior."