Prideful Participant Pillows

Man Wins Second Prize in a Knobbly-Knees Competition.

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

Teacher and students.

"Boo hoo, I missed my targets - what's the worst he can do?"

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

'Jason and the Argosnaughts.'

Proud Mum.

'My wife insisted I stop and ask someone for directions. Could you just pretend you're giving them to me?'

I heart my bum.

The proud husband who's wife just lost thirty-five pounds: 'This is my wife Sandra, Greatly reduced.'

Rainbow Drinks

'I know it's your best round ever, but did you really have to enlarge the scorecard that much?'

Large, hairy gay man is caught in a 'bear' trap.

'It seems like only yesterday that Sharon was knee high!'

Proud parent praise their child

"I'm really proud of my daughter. She's a thorn in the side of the patriarchy."

'Did I mention that Sam won the marathon today?'

'Since she jumped over the moon there's been no living with her.'

"You participated the hell out of that tournament."

"This is my 'trophy room', not 'trophIES room'."

Sorry you are not a winner please try again

'That was my first ever kill.'

"Just six months ago, he was completely feral."

'That won't get you the job, you might however be able to make a fiver from the frame'

'That was the first dollar I ever made, but we had to pay for groceries last month.'

"Don't you want to have parents who can brag about their children?"

Soothsayer. My fatal flaw is hubris? Sure it has to be something better than that!

'Remember, you said if I became an honor student, you wouldn't embarrass me with one of those bumper stickers.'

Proud parent and honor roll student.

'Very impressive, Jack. I had no idea there was a Nobel Prize awarded for home brewing.'

Don't shoot the peonies they are doing their best,

'It's very fashionable these days for a woman to have a tattoo.'

"Sir, I'm afraid we can't accept this as a form of identification."

"I don't know what happened. I usually carry enough money around to make myself feel superior."