Globe-trotting Golfer Gifts

Golfer going through customs

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Man Dreaming Of Australia.

'You're about to see a drive for the ages!'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Golf lessons

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

A man plays golf by the sea

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

'Don't move.'

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

Man in artic weather playing sport with snow balls

'There's nothing like a spot of golf practice to take your mind off business,Smithson...'

"Duh!"

Benefits of Living Abroad

Sport and Politics section of the newspaper exploding.

'Putter'.

"A preliminary census report indicates that for the first time in our nation's history female anthropologists out-number male professional golfers."

"He,he!. . . Some guy on the ninth hole is going crazy looking for this!"

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

CEO practices his golf in the office.

'Which vacation destination do you prefer: a country where Americans are feared, idolized, envied or hated? Or shall we just let that be a surpriese?'

"IV!"

"Somewhere we must have strayed off the course."

"I hate playing with pros!"