Global Sipper Gifts

"Foreign wines have ruined me for domestics. I still shop local, but I gripe global."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"I forget to drink."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

Running Latte

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

Liquidity Lunch

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"Sipsies?"

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

'Boozer's Week.'

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"A friendly warning, pal—this is a sports bar."

'It's better to drink a little too much than much too little!'

"I've never been wild about this bar, but it does get you where you want to go."

Men's Parallel Bars

Scariest Tactics

Gin-etic Engineering

"Generally speaking, when his nose gives way, it means he's had enough."

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."

'Once I get started I drink like a fish.'

Join me in a cosmopolitan?

"I'm at that point in my life where everything calls for a drink."

"So what are you planning on giving up for New Year?"