Global Sipper Gifts

"Foreign wines have ruined me for domestics. I still shop local, but I gripe global."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"I forget to drink."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

Running Latte

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

Liquidity Lunch

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"Sipsies?"

'Boozer's Week.'

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"A friendly warning, pal—this is a sports bar."

Gin-etic Engineering

Scariest Tactics

Men's Parallel Bars

"I've never been wild about this bar, but it does get you where you want to go."

"Generally speaking, when his nose gives way, it means he's had enough."

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

'It's better to drink a little too much than much too little!'

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."

'Once I get started I drink like a fish.'

Join me in a cosmopolitan?

"I'm at that point in my life where everything calls for a drink."