Global Giggler Gifts

'It's 'Wolverines Without Borders'. . . They want you to perform classic Fusco material in development countries where people don't have access to the comics.'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Clown God

The Main Types of Cheese

'I think I'll go home and eat'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'House wine?'

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

"Fresh ground anti-depressants?"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"I think it's important to have a hobby outside of work...mine is eating chocolate."

'It's not just a job. It's about being part of something bigger than yourself.'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.