Global Football Enthusiast Gifts

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

Fly Football

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Punt Cake

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

The trauma of losing.

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Football Chameleon

If nobody had invented graphics

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Football

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Bears

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"Uptight End"