Global Dealmaker Gifts

Tariff Wars

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

Do you want to win the game or my business?

"You are aware that we try to make money here, yes?"

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

"Does it ever cross your mind that we make a lot of money because no one else wants to do what we do?"

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'First, the Rules of Engagement for this meeting ...'

'A hostile takeover just wasn't feasible, so we agreed to a hostile merger.'

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

'Have your people facebook my people.'

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

'He's out massaging,manipulating and monopolising.'

"How can our Russian affiliate be losing money? I thought that country was out of the red."

"I'd prefer a win-win solution – but I'm open to just a win."

'The trick is to be gentle yet firm in negotiations. I prefer soft money and hard liquor.'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

"So that's a 'no'. . .?"

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

Just Merged.

'Everything is negotiable, including my integrity.'

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

'The business is worth $125,000, tops. We expect Google to offer us three billion.'

'It's not a stick-up, it's a merger offer.'

"I wasn't talking in my sleep. I was negotiating."

"Souls are a dime a dozen. The best I can give you is ten free dance lessons."

"From now on we’ll no longer pay your trucking company for driving for us. We’d like to be paid by you because you’re allowed to transport our great products!"

'Of COURSE we appreciate having someone with your expertise in mergers and acquisitions, but offhand I can't think of another corporation that would match up with ours.'