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'It just seems like, ever since the system upgrade, nothing's where it should be.'

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

'At ease, soldier.'

'I'm an atheist!'

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

'You know, termite queens have over 100 million offspring. I mean, just saying...'

'There's an imposter among us!'

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

'Ants of all lands, unite!'

"Stop whinging and man up!" "Our new AI complaints management system still needs a bit of work."

'It's only the library ghost - he was a great poet but a failed novelist.'

'Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!'

'Yipee! A cockroach!'

'I don't know about this new computer inventory system. It just ordered a thousand left handed four fingered surgical gloves.'

"Lately, I've become more spiritual, and less religious."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

"You put it on backward, dear."

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

Ghosts from around the world

"We hope it's just a bug with our new Quantum mainframe."

"In this series, the artist is in dialogue with her printer."

Haunted museum

Ghosts from around the world.