Gliding General Practitioner Pillows

Flying Doctor.

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"Your contents have shifted."

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"The first one's just a warning."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'Your reflexes are still good!'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

London GPs could become an endangered species.