Glass Manufacturer Gifts

"I think it's important to let people know we are not the ones who manufactured the glass ceiling Hillary Clinton is trying to break."

"Talk nerdy to me."

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"I wanted to make it look like the ones at church."

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

"Did you order a starter?"

'Well you're an eye doctor aren't you'

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

Wine-tasting Tour.

Man blowing glass. His dentures have fallen out and are in the glass bubble.

"I heard they make glass from sand but I have no idea where to begin."

'I'm from the odd shaped glass supply company.'

"Is this some kind of a put-on or what?"

'Not THAT glass, you idiot.'

Sorry, what did you say? This new double glazing will be good for noise reduction!

'Why couldn't you wear glasses like everyone else?'

'...Err...Could I have a straight glass, Landlord?'

'Okay, son...Today, I want you to play soccer at Poolbeg Street, Gloucester Street and East Lombard Street!'

'Honest, dear. I'm only having one glass.'

'I like to get here right when Dave opens up, and get a clean glass.'

"Don't be silly, Semira...who would make fun of such cute glasses?"

'He's a nice boy - It's a shame how some people take advantage!'

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

Optimistic Optometry: Sale Rose-colored glasses.

Man reads subliminal message during eye test.

'Here, if you don't do windows, you're through!'