Gladiator Lover Pillows

'Better put this on. . . health and safety.'

'And now I've got gum stuck to the bottom of my sandal, that's it, I'm out of here.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Here be dragons.

Lady of the bath...

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

"Oh, this? Crazy story..."

Myths and legends...

"I miss the Augean stables."

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'This it is, Ferguson! Finally, we found the legendary, mysterious snowmen crematory!'

Scotsman in the bath...

'You pulled a sword out of a stone and they made you King? -- is that constitutional?'

Bigfoot tracks...

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Sir Lancelot finds the Holy Quail

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

'It's a bit demoralising when the Sheriff can claim it all back on expenses.'

"We received another message from that scoundrel Robin Hood, sire!"

Man proposes holding a balloon.

William Tell's Other Four Children

Grumpy old merry men.

"No, you don't need to slay a dragon or go on a quest to prove your love to me. I just want you to keep your castle a hell of a lot cleaner."

Loch Ness Monster

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

The Lake