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"I don't know where his dip in form came from."

"I feel your pain."

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"Bob, the whole Cupid thing is a metaphor."

I'm Spartacus.

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

"Just a routine ID check, Mr. Spartacus - there are lots of people with the same name, you know."

"Are you not infotained?!!"

Roman Emperor using a glad-hand in an amphitheater

Monster chariot races

Audiences at the coliseum were down after health and safety had paid a visit.

Emperor and cat.

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

Why the Romans stopped serving alcohol at sporting events.

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'

"No, the guy with the bat doesn't get to kill the guys with the mitts."

"It just isn't the same without the fans."

'Better put this on. . . health and safety.'

"Thumbs up, you enhance your reputation for compassion. Thumbs down, you satisfy your base."

Prelude to 1892 Election

'I just hope I don't get voted off first.'

"I was miles away - could you start again?"

A knight dragging an unwilling maiden

"Well, it certainly looks like our champion has met his match today."

This is the caesarean section.

'I'm here to interview for the Roman Arena job.'

'He was just a temp.'

Body builder flexs his muscles so much that his head disappears inside them.

'I wish they hadn't voted out instant replay.'

'Now get out there and execute.'

"I know we decided this was immoral, but no one has called me on it in a while, so I think I'll stick it out through the season."

'And now I've got gum stuck to the bottom of my sandal, that's it, I'm out of here.'

"I found the old format much more exciting."